You'll even be able to
tell the situation reading the post.You'll see...how many women do have the problem dealing with a man's main flaw....the make-belief that they lack of emotions, when women do grant insight in theirs. It's funny..Most people nowadays, would categorize me as rather rational..Personally, i would say, i've acquired a good share of both sides..to understand both worlds..Not as naive, but yet still loving. It's possible to be understanding and be understood. I feel i've been through so much with love, dealing with this topic especially, that now, at 24, i did have to cut pieces of my own emotional burstouts, just to understand myself better. Not to understand a man..but to understand ME. Logics is healthier... even though it's the overload of emotions that equals fulfillment or life.
My reply #1.
he's too careless to start with..(i mean particularly about the topic "us"..)..thus i can just assume, that he's making it easy for himself to be dealing with you, knowing that you're feeling him..(trust me, he can tell you like him just by the way you talk to him..)..I think the whole distance issue is just a given excuse..I'm pretty sure he'd pursue more if you were in NY or he in LA, but for some given reason, things aren't like that..so of course he's not gonna look for commitment..it's hard to be dealing with a distance relationship and yeah women, go for that, because they'd do anything for a man they "love"..but..men won't..D won't..you know he's a little independent soul..it's funny him and tony probably have the same prollem, lol, but it's still funny how they look for advice from one another..brotherhood..you know. Just that their answers will be the same to one another too. Ya know..so no real progress..Look at what happens there, just don't lose yourself..You may be missing out on plenty of opportunities that are closer to you..And hey if it's meant to happen, you and him will be closer in the long run..just give it time, and don't force it.
Edited at 2008-07-24 12:25 pm (local)
Homegirl:
[info]"I can always count on u to help me see the logical perspective , and I'm thankful for that (cuz I usually be 100% emotion, typical woman! lol). And I would definitely have to agree with you on those 2 points: 1)the distance is an excuse (and a lame one at that), and 2) he's an independent soul. Theres no doubting that. I think I'll be distancing myself for a while. We'll see what happens. It'd be nice if somewhere in the future we'd be in the same vicinity of each other, but I guess I'll have to leave that up to Fate(?)/God(?)/The Universe(?)/Time(?) to decide."
[info]ny My reply.
I've been where you are now, (analyzing on the emotional side) some time ago..You're a woman and it's okay for you to be registering things from that perspective..i think it's men who need to switch up the sarcasm and drought of their views, because honestly, behind all this nonemotional bs, they are the ones trying to do anything and talking all that sweet mess, when they're in a position where they need to GET YOU. When it's you chasing them,all of a sudden this whole "I would do anything for you, you're the greatest woman I've ever met"..thing, seems like a foreign language to them..They know well how to speak it, but you know , i guess when the chase is not o
n their side, and you're the one being the "conqueror", it gets boring for them..With D, I believe you gotta be less...predictable, as he says..Basically, i bet he wouldn't expect from you to be dealing with any other male, because internally he does expect you to be into him...He knows you're a woman and heknows what kind of woman you are. Not that you'd take anything, but you'll stick around, wait, build that friendship, and soak in pieces that you DO get from him..and he knows that..He is certain that you would take anything from him as long as he is willing to give you ANY thing that he chooses to give you. Be it, a little smile, you will be happy, be it a little word, that will be far less meaningless to him than it will be to you..because u ll sit around and try to analyze it..Be it, a little compliment or side comment, that will drive you crazy because you'll ponder on how he could have meant what he said...He knows he has that power over you, and it may be a time where you make him believe he still has it, but try to focus on other guys..you may be missing the forrest for one tree. You know..one old tree, that is rooted and that will not cut its roots for you just yet, because they're quite comfortable where they at.
Like Dom's quote indicates...He may just be waiting around, flirting with you..and one day you get up and homeboy finds himself a girl out in NYC that is there..and where he has no room for excuses about distance or whatever shit he's on.
Next time you dwell Nat, try to see what he may be saying, from his perspective...taking into account, every negative and positive ..characteristic about him and the way he usually says things.
And hey..I like d, you know, i know him But, behind every great person, there's also a few traits, that are not loveable..And we often miss them when we try to make them one of the greatest people in our lives..You gotta learn to take him as he is, and not for the good things he says to you...He's by far not as great as one may believe,[not a diss], If i were to not know him, i would almost say he's playing with your emotions because behind this whole, "you know the deal, distance etc." talk that he claims is making things impossible....- when a man wants a woman, he'll do anything to keep / get her..thus, all this talk, is just..you know, his weakness..
[just think about what a stranger would say to you, were you to describe the situation to them and describe his actions. I feel almost biased because i can't really diss him..because he's a homebody..but you know..just take it realistically..he's a man.. he's single, and if he wanted some, he could get some from anyone.. He is not committed.]
Take it as that, maybe seeing him being the weak, see him be the non-direct person he is, the man who is scared to tell you he's either feeling you or not feeling you with no euphemistic expressions or beating around the bush, as we could say it, he's just a man scared to be the bad guy, because he 1) would hurt your feelings 2) would admit he's not gonna be there..3) too weak to stop flirting with you making you believe there's room for more One day.
