Bus Stories: R-e-s-p-e-c-t.

Hit-ons on the bus. Lack of tactics never ceases to impress me.

Situation:

I get on the bus, sit down, trying to call my homegirl...
See this dude approach me..Dude gets all up in my face.

[70% are "stage directions" simply because i wasn't talking. excusez-moi.]

Dude: Heyyyyyy!!!
Me: (not looking, dialin number)
Dude: HIIIIIIIII!!!! (sits down behind me, leans over his seat to smell my hair)
Me: - silence - (leans forward to talk to homegirl, and get the boy outta my neck)
Dude: (watchin me, silence, still smelling my hair)
Me: (hangs up the phone, sits chillin on the bus)
Dude: (leans over again) Hiiii baby, I'm sorry i didn't wanna
interrupt your conversation, didn't know you on the phone!!!"
Me: It's cool..
Dude: Maybe you wanna call me too???
Me: Naw, i'm good..
Dude: Whyyyyy?
Me: I got a man, he wouldnt appreciate it. (best excuse ever.)
Dude: Well, I got a girl! But it's whatever!
Me: Well, I'm happy for you..

Dude: Do you really think your man is faithful?
Look at me! I got a girl, but i'm still here!!
You think he's not cheatin hahaha? Every man cheats!

Me: Well as long as i trust him..[thinking: i should slap the fuck outta you.]
Other than that, it's about what i do. Step off.

Dude: Well, we can still talk!!! I wanna talk on the phone!! You thinkin so far ahead!! [allusion - I just HAVE to be feeling him!!! ]
Me: I have enough friends to talk to, i don't know about you..
Dude: I got a lot of friends, but im always up to making more....
(grins and blows in my neck)
Me: I'm not interested, leave it alone.
Dude: What's wrong?..maybe i can help you!!!
Me: Naw it's all good, thanks..
Dude: I can help, I'm good!!! (gets ready to get off the bus)
Me: Naw , you good, take care.
Dude: Take care boo, good luck with everything!! (unexpected)

- End of conversation -

A bum ( a real crack bum -) who was sittin behind the dude and
obviously watching the conversation gets up... Passes me by..

Bum: RESPECT YOUNG LADY!!!! Goood Job!!!
(claps while leaving the bus)

I bust out laughing. The situation couldn't have gotten any more awkward.

Niam I'm tellin you, it's the bus stories son! LOL